My Introduction

My name is Sandy and I am from 37 years old and from Massachusetts.  I live with my boyfriend of 16 years and our 3 amazing kids.  Ethan is 10,  Aidan is 7, and Lily is 5.  My youngest 2 kids were born as micro preemies,  Aidan was born at 25 weeks and Lily was a 27 weeker. I have to admit that I still feel very guilty about having them so early.  I had preeclampsia with both of them and they had to be born early.  I blame myself that I couldn't control my blood pressure. I know that I took medicine to prevent it but it didn't work.  I also have a genetic condition called hypophosphatasia.  It is a brittle bone disease that makes my long  weak and easily break.  As of now I have had 2 broken femurs  and 1 broken tibia.  2 years ago I had another blood pressure problem and it resulted in me having a mini stroke and while I was in the hospital the doctors ran tests on me and thought I had pancreatic cancer, which is the exact thing my grandfather had died of.  After getting a second opinion and having to wait 6 months for answers the second doctor gave me the best news and told me I didn't have cancer.  

Needless to say the last thing to happen to me was over a year ago when I broke my right tibia.  I was doing dishes and bent down to put away a cutting board and my crutches that I was using for stability after the stroke, went out from under me and I feel backwards and my tibia snapped due to a previous stress factor from 2 years before.  I was told by my doctor he didn't want to do surgery unless he had to so I went 7 months no weight bearing and I used a wheelchair because I was scared to fall and I had no muscle tone in my right side due to the previous years mini-stroke.  But on October 1st he finally thought it was time to try to fix the tibia because it wasn't healing, so he straighten my leg.  He had to break the tibia another time and also my fibula.  And also the muscle on my knee cap so he could fit a rod down my leg to help protect it and support the break.  I now have totally lost total muscle  tone in my legs and I am surely not as strong in my arms that I once was.  I feel like I am complaining, because I know other people have it much worst than I have it. 

The last couple of weeks I have not been feeling like myself and wonder if I am ever going to get better.  I have missed everything in my kids life and I can't drive myself anywhere or even get up & down the stairs.  I am doing this blog as a way to help me talk about motivating or at least to complain to someone when I need to.  More to come tomorrow.....